


Is there hope for us?

by queenofmne



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Cliche, Cute, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 13:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofmne/pseuds/queenofmne
Summary: Harvey can't say no to Donna. Even when that puts him in some uncomfortable situations.





	Is there hope for us?

**Author's Note:**

> Fake dating AU I always wanted to write. I know it's shitty, but bear with me because these two still aren't together and I'm going insane...

Donna was waiting for him inside his office. There was a nervous look on her face and because she only rarely showed anxiousness at all, Harvey was considerably worried.

 

“What’s wrong?” Harvey Specter was never the one to waste time.

 

“Harvey, I’m gonna need you to sit down…” She was speaking quietly and the lack of confidence in her words was something he had never experienced before.

 

He knew this was serious, so he listened to her - sat down and braced himself for whatever bad news she was about to tell him. His thoughts were racing, thinking something might have happened to Mike, his family, friends… maybe the firm was in trouble… So many devastating possibilities invaded his thoughts that Harvey had almost laughed when he heard Donna’s confession.

 

“You see Harvey… Well, this Saturday my cousin Elly is getting married. And that’s great, I love my cousin Elly! But, um… My mother has somehow told every one of our family members that we are in a relationship… And I _swear_ I did not know about that until last night! Therefore, she has kindly ordered me to bring you to the wedding not to embarrass her.”

 

At first he felt relieved. Because he honestly thought it was something far, far worse that she was about to tell him. However, his next reaction had surprised him a little bit if he were to be honest with himself.

 

It was excitement. No, he did not know where it was coming from. But as the words were leaving Donna’s mouth, he could see the picture she was painting perfectly.

 

Also, from what he knew of her mother, from the few times Donna has actually spoken about her… it was perfectly believable that she would do something like that. Presentation to the world was important to her, that’s why she was always so mad at Donna for being just a secretary… Mrs Paulsen must’ve been so happy when her daughter had become the COO.

 

So, Harvey concluded, since he knew how much it would mean to Donna not to fight with her mother (especially in front of family), he had decided to go to the wedding with her. But, he chose not to tell her that just yet. It wasn’t that often that Donna Paulsen asked for favours and he was going to use it for sure.

 

“Mhm… So, you’re saying you want me to be your boyfriend for the weekend?” He was now teasing her, trying to flirt, but still not knowing why he had the need to do that. No matter how smart Harvey Specter thought he was, the fact is that he was a damn idiot when it came to love.

 

“No, Harvey. I’m saying my mother wants you to be my boyfriend for the weekend. If you’re uncomfortable with that I’ll understand… I’ll just say I left you.” Donna had regained her usual wit, making a jab at him.

 

“Oh you left me, huh? Well, I certainly can’t let people think that… I guess I’m coming with you then…” For a second there he really thought he could fuck with Donna Paulsen, but the truth is - she’s _Donna_. He had to give in the second she needed him, because that didn’t happen as much as the men in her life might have wanted.

 

“Great, because I’ve already RSVPd last night. I couldn’t say no to my mother, you know how she gets…” She just shrugged her shoulders, not really having to explain since they both knew _exactly_ how her mother got.

 

With that said, Donna just smiled - one of her real smiles, reserved only for few selected people - and left Harvey alone in his office where the reality finally crashed in on him. He had really just accepted to be Donna’s boyfriend in front of her family and friends. That could end up being the best thing in the world… but knowing his luck… It was probably going to become the opposite.

 

* * *

 

They met up at the airport, both packed and tired, since the flight was at six in the morning and neither could sleep last night. Donna was uncharacteristically quiet and Harvey thought she was second guessing her decision to go through with this.

 

“I’m glad I’m going with you.” He felt the need to let her know that. Harvey knew her for more than a decade and even though it sometimes didn’t look like it, he always knew exactly what she needed to hear.

 

“Yeah, well, you won’t be when we get there, I can promise you that. My family is going to smother you with questions first and then they’ll continue to talk about you the whole time we’re there, sometimes even when you’re in the same room. Those people have no shame…”

She was really worried her family was going to scare him, drive him away, make him realise he could never be with a woman who came from such a family… Yes, Donna was scared.

 

“Yeah, and my family pure perfection… Donna, I’m here to help you, even though you hate when I do that.” Harvey’s expression softened for just a second, but it was still enough for her to notice. She liked when he was being protective of her, even though she didn’t damn well need it.

 

“Thank you Harvey, you have know idea how much this means to me.” Her words were sincere, but she still couldn’t look him in the eyes as she was speaking. She was afraid he’d see how much emotion she was hiding, harder to suppress than usually.

 

“Hey, there’s nothing to thank me for… You know I’d do anything for you Donna.” Now he was taking her hand in his and Donna was afraid her heart was going to explode in her chest.

 

Harvey, on the other hand couldn’t control his need for intimacy. Moments like this with her, when it was just them away from their everyday world… they meant everything to him. Even though you would never, ever hear him admit. He was never going to admit, neither to her nor to himself, what he really felt. Because those feelings were scary and he felt so vulnerable opposed to the power they had over him.

 

Dammit he _chose her_. He chose her over everybody, even his own girlfriend. What kind of man does that? A man who has completely and utterly gone to Hell.

 

Thankfully for both, the speaker had finally announced the boarding had started, so that gave them something else to do, to avert their thoughts from this dangerous subject.

 

* * *

 

“Harvey… Harvey…”

 

He could hear someone calling his name, but everything was blurry and he didn’t want to open his eyes just yet.

 

“Harvey, honey, wake up, we’re here.” Donna’s voice was soft and he could feel her hand caressing his cheek, gently trying to wake him up.

 

His eyes fluttered open and the first thing that he saw was her smile. This was nice to wake up to. However, he did just fall asleep on the plane, which meant his back was almost broken from being bent awkwardly. Also, he’d noticed he’d fallen asleep on Donna’s shoulder, so this must’ve been uncomfortable for her too.

 

He slowly raised his head, cracked his back once and then took a sip of the water standing in front of him. Looking out the window he saw they’ve already arrived at the airport which meant he must’ve slept for about two hours. As he remembered that they’ve got to leave the plane now and officially start their plan, Harvey was starting to get anxious.

 

Of course, Donna being Donna, immediately felt the change in his attitude. Once they’ve finally gotten up from their seats, she offered him her hand to hold, wordlessly letting him know they were stuck in this together.

 

* * *

 

“Oh honey!!! I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad you’re finally here!”

 

Her mother was practically jumping up and down around the two of them. It was slightly embarrassing her, but she knew that was the least of their problems for the weekend.

 

“Oh, you must be Harvey! It’s such a shame that we’re only meeting just now! Look how handsome you are in person! And the two of you look so good together, I knew I was right when I told everyone the two of you were dating!”

 

This woman couldn’t contain her words to save her life. It was honestly amusing to Harvey, but Donna just wanted to strangle her mother. It was uncomfortable to hear how her mother didn’t feel at least a bit ashamed of her lies… Still, they were in the situation where the damage was already done.

 

“Mrs Paulsen it’s so nice to meet you too. Donna has told me so many great things about you.” He tried to make himself more pleasant in conversation, but Harvey knew how Donna’s parents treated her - they only used her when they needed something… So he wasn’t really that happy to meet them.

 

“Oh please Harvey, call me Roberta! Now, let’s get you two settled and then we’re having lunch.” She ushered them upstairs, showing them way to a room.

 

The walls were purple, the walls were covered in boyband posters and there were a dozen magazines on the nightstand beside the bed. Harvey figured this must’ve been Donna’s old room. It was nice to get a glimpse of who she was before, as a teenager. Somehow he never imagined her to be a fangirl with poster covered walls.

 

“Harvey, do you want to take the guest room, it’s not as messy as this one… I hope…” Donna was embarrassed Harvey had to see all of that, she felt like a little girl again.

 

“Oh no honey”, her mother protested instantly. “Your cousin Alice is staying in the guest room, she had nowhere else to sleep and she has no date for the wedding so I invited her here.”

 

“Mom! I told you I was bringing Harvey, now where are we all going to sleep!?” Donna was fuming at the moment, so angry at her mother that there were no words to explain.

 

“Well honey, you and Harvey are sleeping here, of course.” Her mother had a devious smile, she had planned this for so long. Bringing Alice to the house was a perfect way to make sure these two would spend their nights together.

 

“That’s great, I don’t mind. Thank you Roberta, we’ll see you in a little bit.” Harvey thoughtfully jumped in to avoid the two women getting into a fight. He could tell Donna was ashamed of her mother’s behaviour and he wanted to do everything in his power to never make her feel ashamed of herself as well.

 

Once Roberta had finally left the room, the tension from Donna’s shoulders had finally slipped. She was still angry at her, but now she was also too tired to have a debate, which she also knew she would lose. They had to accept the situation as it was.

 

“I’m sorry about her, about all of _this_ … Don’t worry, I’ll just sleep on the floor.” She tried to apologise, but the words somehow felt insufficient to erase the awkwardness she was feeling.

 

“Come on Donna, that won’t be necessary. We’ve slept together once before, remember? Besides, we’re adults… and friends… we can handle this.” Harvey was much more than understanding, he was also _sweet_. It bothered her terribly, that he always made her love him even more.

 

“Yeah, well, I know I can, but for you… I’m not so sure.” She was back to being the playful, flirty Donna he knew and lo-… Nothing. He stopped his thought before it had time to fully dawn on him. This was absolutely the worst time to contemplate his feelings for her, so he just chuckled at her remark and went to hang his shirts in the closet.

 

* * *

 

The lunch was bearable, to both Donna and Harvey’s surprise. Well, at least up until the moment Donna’s scumbag father spoke up.

 

“So, Harvey boy… Since you’re soon gonna be my son in law, I guess we can talk later about that loan I need. It’s not much, only a couple thousand, you can afford that.”

 

He said that so freely that Donna almost threw up. Her mother was an embarrassment, but her father made her lose the will to live. Especially speaking to Harvey like this.

 

This man, who had saved her so many times, even without her having to ask… He shouldn’t be treated this way from the members of this stupid family of hers. She didn’t want any of them, she didn’t need them, she hated that she still loved them… The only true family that she knew was Harvey and their friends at the firm. These awful strangers sitting around the table were just that to her, strangers who shared the same blood.

 

“Harvey, let’s go.” Donna stood up so quickly that for a second her sight got blurry. She couldn’t stand there any longer and she definitely couldn’t let Harvey endure that kind of behaviour.

 

“Donna, it’s okay, we don’t have to go…” Harvey did indeed feel disgusted by her father, but Donna was still his priority and if keeping things good with her family meant something to her, then he could bite his tongue for a couple of hours.

 

“No. We’re not staying here. Get your things, we’re leaving. Right now.” Her tone was serious. Only Harvey noticed, also _hurt_. He knew what it was like to want to see people you love be better than they really are. And then you always get disappointed. Harvey damn well understood better than anyone.

 

So, he stood up from the table, picked up their coats from the hallway and without a word followed Donna out of the house and down the street. He wasn’t sure where she was going, nor was he sure she even _knew_ where she was going. Still, sometimes they would switch places so it was his job to follow her everywhere.

 

* * *

 

They walked for less than ten minutes and finally found themselves in front of an old diner. It of course wasn’t a five star restaurant in Manhattan, but it seemed like Donna felt comfortable there. At least that’s why he thought she chose that exact place. 

 

After they’ve sat down and ordered, without much mutually exchanged words between them, he realised she brought him there for one more reason. The food was damn delicious! Every single part of the meal in front of him was fresh, perfectly cooked and prepared. Something that he really wasn’t expecting in a ditch like this.

 

“This tastes so good… Why didn’t you bring me here before?” Harvey was seriously considering to buy this whole damn place for himself. That’s how good his lunch was.

 

“I would’ve brought you here earlier, except that I kind of wanted to avoid my hometown… I’m afraid you have figured out why… But yeah, I missed this food so much…” She felt nostalgic. This place was there for her every time her parents weren’t. She studied here, came with friends here, went on dates here… It was all now somewhere far away in her memories and she was sad that one day she might not even remember.

 

“Donna, I know parents are a work of art… both of ours. And I honestly wish it wasn’t like that, but it’s not up to us to change them. Trust me, I’ve learned that the hard way. So, what I’m suggesting right now is to just enjoy this food and try to have the best time possible during this weekend, ignoring your parents. Okay?”

 

She couldn’t find the voice to answer, so she just nodded her head in agreement. She knew Harvey was right, but she still needed to _fix_. Fix, fix, fix. Donna Paulsen was always all about fixing - things, people, situations… She has made it her life mission to fix everything that she deemed broken. And now, there was nothing she could do except let Harvey comfort her. Which hey, wasn’t even that bad.

 

After lunch they just continued to roam around town, the whole five streets of it. Donna was showing Harvey her elementary school, her high school, her favourite candy shop, the club where she used to go with her friends and the caffe where she used to work during the summer.

 

Getting to hear the history of Donna was just as amusing as it was exciting. She was always so private about her personal life and Harvey only ever wanted to know more. Even though he knew, of all their friends in New York, he was the one that she told most about herself, it was still not enough for him.

 

Harvey’s life-long goal was to figure her out. How she knew everything she knew, how she did everything she did, what made her the Donna that he knew today… There were so many small things that were maybe even more important than the big ones, but he wanted all of it - both good and bad.

 

“I think it’s time to go back to the house. We have to get ready for the rehearsal dinner tonight…”

 

They were sitting on a bench in the park, her head on his shoulder, enjoying a comfortable silence that was broken by her soft voice. She didn’t want to leave that place any more than he did, but they came here for a reason and they both knew to respect professional obligations.

 

* * *

 

As they came through the front door they could hear the house go quiet. No talking, no laughing, just silence. Donna knew her parents must’ve been pissed that she had just left in the middle of lunch, not really because their feelings were hurt, but because she had embarrassed them in front of Alice. Who was then, of course, going to tell that to the whole family.

 

Harvey wondered if they should go inside the living room, say hi to everyone, maybe even apologise (for the sake of appearances only!). But, Donna was quick to take the stairs to their bedroom, so greetings were out of the question.

 

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” He asks softly, his hand finding her cheek. He’s looking her in the eyes and she can see the worry in his.

 

“Are you sure you’re gonna survive this disaster?” She tries to laugh it off like her hurt feelings are nothing, but he knows better than that.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, I got you.” He almost but whispers into her hair while bringing her closer into a bone crushing hug. To be held in his arms was a luxury Donna couldn’t afford herself too often, worried that she might do something stupid while he’s touching her like that.

 

Instead of being thrown off by the intimacy of her nuzzling her nose in the crack of his neck, Harvey somehow finally got the feeling of belonging. Once upon a time, up until exactly twenty seconds ago, Harvey Specter had been convinced that his true calling was to be a lawyer.l Now, however, he could’ve swore that he was born only to hold her close to his heart.

 

They could’ve stayed like that for hours, if it wasn’t for the sound of a reminder on Donna’s phone, buzzing with a note about the upcoming dinner.

“I believe we have to be getting ready right about now…” She sheepishly untangled herself from his limbs, regretting it the second the cold air hit her skin.

 

“If you don’t mind, I’ll take the bathroom first so you don’t spend all the hot water.” As always, lighthearted teasing was always an escape for them, every time things got too heated. Harvey knew if they had stayed in such embrace for much longer, he wouldn’t have had it in himself to ever let go.

 

Donna finally regained control of her legs, walking toward her closet to pick a dress for tonight, letting Harvey go get ready himself. First, she picked a tight, long-sleeved black dress (one of Harvey’s favourites…) and silver pumps to go with it. After that, it was turn to pick out Harvey’s suit for the evening. She went with one that perfectly matched her dress, black with a dark grey shirt. If they were to pretend to be a couple, they also had to dress like a couple.

 

When she was done with that, she turned on her curling iron, knowing it would heat up exactly when she finished with her bath. Next thing to do was organise her makeup on her table… She really didn’t have anything else to do while waiting for Harvey to finish…

 

As he finally got out of the bathroom he found her focused on putting her makeup products on the table. She was placing them in different groups, each one containing pieces of god knows what. It was interesting, seeing her do normal woman stuff. Usually, when the two of them were spending time together she was always occupied with something for the firm, some business in whatever way. It was refreshing, to see her so focused yet so relaxed while organising.

 

“Hey, the bathroom’s free…” He cleared his throat before speaking, she actually didn’t hear him come in. As Donna finally turned to look at him, with the evident change in her facial expression, Harvey had felt like he won the lottery.

 

He had just gotten out of the shower in nothing but his boxer briefs, much to Donna’s displeasure. She DID NOT need to see her boss so indecent. Although she had seen him naked that one time they had sex a million years ago, she still couldn’t get over the fact how good he looked. And Donna definitely wanted to look away, it wasn’t appropriate for her to ogle him so shamelessly, but her eyes wouldn’t listen to her brain, for the love of God.

 

“See something you like?” He felt confident enough to make a joke once he saw the raw hunger storming through her eyes. This side of Donna was usually hidden so far away from his reach, that he never thought he’d seen it again after the night they had spent together.

 

“Nope. I’m just in a hurry, we’re gonna be late.” She knew it was probably a mistake that she didn’t answer in the same flirty manner and he was probably gonna pick up on it… But, her defence mechanisms were acting up again. Donna didn’t want to repeat the same mistake of sleeping with him. Not until she knew for sure how he felt about her.

 

With a whole new determination on her side, Donna Paulsen confidently swayed her hips to the bathroom and then continued getting ready like nothing had happened. On the other hand, Harvey was left standing in the room like an idiot. He questioned his decision tease her, feeling like she might have thought it too unprofessional. He was confused by her response, but there was nothing he could do about it now except regret it and pretend like her disinterest didn’t bother him at all.

 

* * *

 

She was fresh out of the shower, her body and her hair wrapped in a towel. Donna entered her room, praying to God Harvey wasn’t there. Indeed, her prayers were answered. The room was completely empty and she couldn’t help but feel just a little bit disappointed. In the end, she did want payback for him walking around half naked.

 

Like always, Donna had surpassed thoughts like that and focused her attention on getting ready for the dreaded dinner. First, she put her underwear and robe on, just in case someone decided to show up unannounced. Second, she spend half an hour doing her hair, inspecting every lock, trying to make it perfect. Then came the makeup - she did her whole routine and then some. It was a special occasion after all, so she sexed it up a bit with some cat eye and bold lips. Finally, she put exactly two sprays of her perfume on her neck, her wrists and one spray between her boobs and on her socks.

 

After that it was time for her to get dressed. She put on her heels first, made a few steps around the room, just for the fun of it… and then at last got into her selected dress. Everything was going smoothly, except then, of course, she had gotten into a small predicament. Her damn zipper got stuck.

 

Donna was one of those women who would always zip up her own dress. Even when there were men to help her with that, she’d never let them. The zipper was kind of like independence for her, she _had to_ do it herself. She wasn’t going to let herself be dependent on any man, because men usually leave and she won’t ever leave herself.

 

But, tonight was so nerve wracking… They were already going to be at least half an hour late and the DAMN ZIPPER WOULDN’T BUDGE. Donna was almost about to scream from frustration, but in that moment, her saviour just knocked on the door. She didn’t know who it was and it didn’t really matter. She was a stubborn woman, but sometimes, you had to admit defeat.

 

“Come in, I need help! Right now!” She didn’t mean to yell at the person behind the door, but her anger toward the stupid dress got the best of her.

 

“Is everything alright?” Of course, it had to be Harvey. He had just come up to check on her, since her mother complained she was taking forever and he didn’t want Roberta to be the one to tell her daughter to hurry. That wouldn’t have ended well.

 

“I can’t get this zipper to move… I think I’m gonna need your help…” The way she said it was so annoyed, not with him nor the zipper, but with herself. He knew she absolutely _hated_ asking for help.

 

He came closer, his hands grabbing the zipper, inspecting the problem and trying to find the best and quickest solution. Once, twice… he tried to bring it up three times before he actually succeeded. Nonetheless, he had zipped her up for good with a big sigh of relief on both sides of the dress.

 

Instead of moving right away, Harvey had recklessly left his hands to linger on her back. It wasn’t his intention, he told himself, it was something pulling him towards her, some devil in his mind telling him to bring that zipper down once again. But, before he could do anything even more dangerous and stupid, Harvey finally had the strength to collect himself.

 

With a loud exhale, he finally let his hands flop down to his sides. He could hear Donna swallow, but he deliberately chose not to dwell on it. It would be so, so irresponsible… stupid… dumb… idiotic… Harvey kept repeating that over and over until he finally felt them both calm down.

 

“If you’re ready, I have instructions to bring you down so we at least aren’t the last to arrive. I wouldn’t hurry you, but I think your mother is going to flip.” It was back to business now and he didn’t have the slightest idea of how much Donna had appreciated that. She didn’t have the nerves to discuss what was happening between them lately… at least not tonight.

 

* * *

 

Luckily for Harvey, the rest of Donna’s family wasn’t as bad as her parents. Halfway through the dinner he figured out that Donna was keeping him away from few of her relatives, probably for his own good. However, the night was going in a perfectly acceptable way for all parties included, so nobody had anything to complain about. Which was a big relief for Donna.

 

After what had happened at lunch with her parents, all she wanted from the evening was to spare Harvey any more comments like that. She was doing a good job, she thought. Her aunt Wilma was the one to look out for, she was her mother’s sister and just as bad as her. Donna skilfully didn’t let her even get a word in with Harvey which made her slightly proud of herself.

 

But, as family dinners were just made for someone to start crying, it was naive to expect things would stay comfortable until the end of dessert.

 

“So, tell us Harvey, when are you finally going to propose?”, finally asked one of her dad’s sisters. Her excitement was extremely obvious, but not only that, it was also her belief in their upcoming engagement that alarmed Donna even more.

 

“Well Ma’am, I’d tell you, but then it would ruin the surprise.” As the great lawyer that he was, Harvey gave the perfect answer, one that satisfied every listening ear.

 

Underneath the table, Donna found his hand, giving it a small squeeze in appreciation. He squeezed back, but then also started leaning forward towards her. Donna was scared for a second, of what he was planning to do, but his movements were quick and he just put a gentle kiss on her cheek. It was surprising at first, him showing any kind of affection so casually, but then she had remembered that he was just playing his part. Yeah, Donna had actually forgotten that he was here to _play_ her boyfriend…

 

“You guys are so sweet! Look at you, all blushing and in love!” One of her younger cousins was gushing over the fact that Donna was as red as a tomato.

 

Firstly, it was embarrassing. Secondly, she was making it too big of a deal. Thirdly, she was so damn pathetic, really. Donna knew it wasn’t anything new to receive a kiss on the cheek from Harvey. It was simple and an everyday thing. But, this wasn’t a greeting, this wasn’t a special occasion… it was just… _domestic_.

 

Before she had any time to get too lost in her feelings, her cousin Elly asked her something about her bridesmaids dress. It was a welcome distraction, if she were honest.

 

All the while, Harvey couldn’t keep his eyes away from her. He had noticed the change in the colour of her cheeks, but tried to justify it with sudden surprise. She was now talking to her relative, discussing some stupid dress and he wasn’t paying much attention to what they were speaking about. Instead, his gaze was fixed on her mouth. The way it moved while she was talking, the way it pouted while she was listening. Like he had never payed attention before and now he was almost mesmerised.

 

“Mr Specter, would you like a girl or a boy?”, Donna’s eighteen-year-old cousin asked.

 

“What?” To say the question took him by surprise would be an understatement. Harvey couldn’t even understand at first what the girl was even asking him. Girl or boy what? Dog?!

 

“Kids, Mr Specter… What would you prefer?” The girl proceeded too explain her question, obviously very interested in hearing the answer.

 

“I haven’t thought about it… I do have both a niece and a nephew, which I love equally, so I think I would be happy with both.”, he says honestly.

 

It was weird, having to talk about having kids… and in front of Donna’s family of all places… However, Harvey had just registered that he wasn’t opposed to the idea of a family. When he was answering the question, he thought of his brothers kids first, but then also about Donna. He wondered what would she like more and concluded that she wouldn’t even care about the gender.

 

Maybe it was dangerous to even imagine having a family with her, but sometimes Harvey couldn’t control the lengths to which his mind went. And in his imagination, Donna would be a perfect mother. Kind and caring and well, it didn’t hurt that she was practically a mind reader. The only worry he had was about himself. What kind of father would he be if he ever had kids?

 

“I didn’t know you even thought about kids… But Harvey, I think you’d be a great dad.” And there she went again, somehow knowing every single thought and feeling he had. It was comforting to hear, especially coming from her and Harvey was satisfied for the time being.

 

From that the conversation turned to Elly and her almost husband - the wedding, the honeymoon and their own future kids. Both Harvey and Donna were glad to finally be left alone, even though they were sorry for the new victims of the family’s attention.

 

“Are we doing okay?” Harvey whispered in her ear while they were waiting for dessert. There wasn’t that much time left of the dinner, so he thought they have survived the worst of the night.

 

“I believe we are, sweetheart.” Donna turned to him with a big smile. It looked like she was pleased with their little act, considering everything was going according to plan.

 

Her family was curious to know everything about her rich, handsome lawyer boyfriend, but they had too much respect for him to pry. A _decent_ amount of questions was asked and the night was going smoothly.

 

The dessert was served and since Donna knew Harvey hated cheesecake, she took his plate too. The woman had a knack for sweets, besides she was PMSing, so it was a good excuse.

 

“Donna! Stop eating that right now! You’re going to get fat!” Her mother almost growled from the other end of the table.

 

At her comment, Donna just slowly cut another piece of the cake and dramatically put it in her mouth. She was a little rebel, his Donna… Harvey had always liked that spiteful side of her, except when he was on the receiving end.

 

“Oh don’t worry Roberta, as long as I can carry her from the front door to the kitchen counter, she’s all good.”

 

The whole table including Donna almost choked at their food. The others were just shocked by Harvey’s sexual implications, knowing him to be very reserved and proper. Donna, on the other hand, was especially disturbed by his comment.

 

The others had no idea, but Harvey was in fact alluding to the night they had spent together. Neither of them could wait to reach the bedroom, so he had just picked her up and put her on the nearest flat surface, which was coincidentally the counter.

 

She had no idea why he was bringing it up now. It wasn’t the time nor the place. Still, the memory of that night brought a tingling feeling to her skin. What they did, what they had that night was _good_. After all these years, although nothing had ever come out of it, Donna didn’t once regret her decision.

 

It seemed like he was thinking about that night too, judging by the way he was looking at her. Half hungry, half fondly. And that’s exactly how she remembered that night going too. Donna was now remembering his needy hands and demanding kisses and also his soft fingers and delicate touches. It was a contradiction in itself, but it made her feel what they did was more than just raw passion.

 

Beside her, Harvey was currently hating himself. He thought that he may have overstepped the line with her, mentioning something they have long ago agreed to forget. Still, he needed to see her reaction - if she wanted it now as she did back then. And he wasn’t disappointed.

 

He noticed her freeze once the words came out of his mouth. Her next reaction was overthinking, he recognised it right away. Then, her expression changed to something resembling embarrassment. Not because of what he had just said in front of her family, not because of what they did all those years ago, but because she wanted to do more.

 

That could have just been wishful thinking from his side, but Harvey was proud to say that he knew sexual tension when he saw it. That glimmer in her eyes, that redness showing on the tips of her ears… those were signs that she was having improper thoughts about him.

 

The need to hear those thoughts kept driving him crazy for the rest of the night, even though he knew it was impossible to act on them.

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately for both Harvey and Donna, everyone was on the same page about heading home as soon as possible. The almost weds wanted to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow and the rest of the family was tired from over-eating.

 

The pair was actually pretty opposed to the idea. Neither wanted to get home, to that small room and that one bed. After all that had happened during the last few hours, they weren’t sure if they could take being in each other’s vicinity without doing something stupid.

 

However, a stern look from her mother convinced Donna that she couldn’t use the couch when they got home. Her fear of Harvey… well, of their current relationship, was much less concerning than her fear of her mother’s wrath.

 

That’s how they’ve found themselves silently walking around the room. Both were done with the bathroom, changed and prepared for bed. Except, it seemed like no one was too eager to get inside that bed first.

 

“Come on Harvey, we’re acting like children now. We are friends, we are colleagues and although this might be slightly unprofessional, it is our current situation and we are going to be dealing with it maturely. Understood?” After fifteen minutes of awkward silence Donna had decided she was tired of their bullshit.

 

“Yes ma’am.” Harvey finally smirked, thankful that she never knew how bothered her bossiness made him.

 

“Good, now, I sleep on the left side of the bed, so you can go on and take the right. Good night.” Her voice sounded so unnatural to her, like she was robotically stating facts and not talking to her friend. Still, if that’s what it took for them to survive the night, she’ll take it.

 

Both of them got underneath the blankets, each turning their lamps off. A few beats of silence have passed, just enough for them to get used to the idea of _really_ sharing a bed, and then Harvey had finally spoken.

 

“I had no idea you had a preferred side. I didn’t notice it the last time we slept together.” He was bringing that up again, but he couldn’t help it. Something was making him want to talk about it, for the first time in so many years.

 

“Honestly Harvey, we both know there wasn’t much sleeping done that night. Besides, even when we did fall asleep I was kind of _right on top of you_ … so… There weren’t any sides to choose from…” She didn’t want to look at him while she was talking. Yes, she remembered the sex extremely well, but what slipped past her mind so many times was the actual cuddling afterwards.

 

If anyone had ever told her Harvey Specter **loved** to cuddle, Donna wouldn’t have believed it for the world. Well, not until she had experienced it herself. That night, he couldn’t let go of her for even one second, loudly complaining when she had stolen a few minutes for the bathroom.

 

“Wait… Harveyyyy… Do you by any chance want to cuddle with me?” She knows him too well to read his intentions wrongly.

 

“Who? Me? Sure, if you insist. You know I’d do anything for you Donna…” He tries to play it cool when he’s busted and thankfully the lights are out so she can’t see how embarrassed he really is.

 

She immediately scoots over, not even thinking it through. Truth be told, she knew it was a bad idea, but she could smell his cologne and his body was so warm.

“But no funny business. This is a friendly, platonic favour. And just because you’re doing all of this for me.” Donna was more justifying it to herself than to him.

 

Harvey on the other hand wasn’t even listening to what she was saying. Her left hand was on his chest, right above his heart and he was starting to be afraid of his heartbeat. Donna is an observant person, there is no way she’d miss the increase of speed. 

 

What Harvey didn’t know is that it wasn’t only his heart racing in excitement. Both of them were so scared that their own feelings would be discovered, that they hadn’t even noticed the signs that the other person was feeling exactly the same.

 

“Come on, we should sleep, it’s late.” Donna tried to keep her voice steady, but it wasn’t coming out so perfectly.

 

“Yeah, you’re right… Sweet dreams Donna…” He wanted to say something else, but didn’t know how to put his feelings into words.

 

When you think about it, it’s a pretty fucked up thing for a lawyer, to be out of sync with words. He’s supposed to be their friend, and they’re supposed to give him their support. Instead, now he was just … for the first time in his life… _speechless_.

 

Donna, on the other hand, understood completely. He didn’t need to say it for her to feel it. Just by the tone of his voice, by the hard gulp afterwards, by the unconscious way he tightened his grip around her waist… She knew. She also knew it was hard to form into something as simple as words, so for now, she let them be.

 

And in the morning… well, that’s a problem for tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

They were actually spooning. Her back was pressed against Harvey and his arm was keeping her from getting up. For a second Donna wanted to stay there like that forever. But, a little bit of common sense had finally returned to her, so she concluded it wasn’t a smart idea.

 

She needed to get to the bathroom - brush her teeth, take a shower and rehearse how to pretend like last night didn’t happen. Except that it did. Oh and Harvey’s hand wouldn’t budge when she tried to move it. It was weird, considering he was asleep and his muscles were supposed to be relaxed… 

 

“Harvey, I need to pee.” She finally figured out he wasn’t sleeping all this time.

 

“Okay… sorry.” He didn’t know how she noticed he was awake, but it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Still, it did make his situation more awkward. It wasn’t too friendly to still consciously cuddle with your coworker at 7 in the morning.

 

Last night they both silently decided to let his request casually slide, hoping that in the morning it would be forgotten. But apparently, Harvey was the one who just couldn’t let it go. Literally.

 

She was finally out of bed, almost running to get to the bathroom in time. Harvey found it funny, how she moved fast like a little penguin. However, he knew that if Donna ever caught him laughing at her… she would probably cut off… something of huge importance to him and to the female population.

 

In the bathroom Donna was panicking. Well, peeing and panicking to be exact. Last night she was pretty emotionally drained and vulnerable, so seeking comfort in Harvey’s arms was something that she felt very comfortable with. But this morning had turned out to be a surprise.

 

She had made herself think that his touches and hugs and every soft way they intertwined last night was just a product of his temporary loneliness. Instead, this morning she saw it again, his reluctance to be apart from her.

 

Donna didn’t want to get too ahead of herself in imagining things that might not be there. Being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back is hard, but for Donna it had become manageable. Unfortunately, whenever something slightly intimate happens between them, when the lines get blurred like last night… it becomes harder and harder to keep her feelings to herself.

 

Harvey being Harvey of course wasn’t helping her at all… So, Donna took a big breath and silently went back inside the room, hoping that there wouldn’t be more any more trouble until they left tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

To say Donna’s hopes were crushed would be an understatement. No, her hopes were beaten up, stabbed multiple times, burned on a stake and then buried alive. That’s how bad it was. 

 

Aside from her mother announcing how cute she and Harvey looked sleeping together (apparently she checked up on them earlier in the morning…), the situation in the house wasn’t half as bad as yesterday.

 

To Harvey’s amusement and Donna’s dismay, the wedding reception was much different. There were about two hundred people there, each and every one of them wanting to meet this big shot lawyer Donna had brought home from New York.

 

While Donna was half embarrassed by their questions and half by their behaviour in front of guests, Harvey was actually having _fun_ … They were asking him so many weird things that it just made Harvey laugh at one point. He thought he had more self control in him, but Donna’s family was so disturbed that it was a sin to laugh. Still, he couldn’t help it.

 

“Glad to see you’re having fun… at least someone here…” Donna had noticed that he wasn’t even a bit annoyed by her family, like she was on the other hand.

 

It wasn’t fair of him to actually enjoy this torture. In fact, he was even throwing her under the bus and talking about embarrassing things she had done in the office. Nothing serious of course, but things like when her computer wouldn’t work and she had almost bought a new one, but it later on turned out it was just unplugged.

 

Another thing that was disturbing her was the fact that he was really getting along well with her family, even after they’ve bombarded him with all of their craziness. Donna was proud of him for enduring all they’ve thrown at him, but also inexplicably grateful. No one had ever done something like that for her.

 

“Donna sweetie, tell your aunties how you two fell in love! We can’t wait to hear every detail!” A group of her distant aunts had gathered around their table, waiting like vultures to hear juicy gossip.

 

“Well…” Donna froze, not even once has she thought to make up a story of how they got together.

 

“Honey, if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell them the story.” Once again, Harvey came to her rescue. He was much better at handling pressure than her anyway.

 

“So, ladies, you know Donna has been working with me for thirteen years… Over that time we have obviously become very good friends, but what a small number of people knows, I’ve actually liked her since the first time we met. Of course, you understand that, if I had acted on my feelings, it would’ve been very unprofessional… But, when Donna had become COO, and stopped working _for_ me, I knew it was time for us to finally get together. So, one night I took her to dinner after we had won a big case and after the date, when I was sure she liked me back, I drove her home and gave her a goodnight kiss. And that’s the story of us…”

 

It was like he had rehearsed it, Donna thought. Knowing Harvey, he probably did - the man always had to be prepared for anything. But, Donna would be surprised to find out that his little fake story was actually the truth. Well, everything except the kiss…

 

A few weeks ago they did win a big case and they did go to dinner to celebrate. Harvey did drive her home, but then, at her front door, he just chickened out and gave her a hug.

 

“Awww that is so sweet!”, one of the ladies cooed. They were all pretty much sold on the story and also on their relationship.

 

During the night, everyone was not so subtly inspecting Harvey and his relationship with Donna. In the end almost everyone had concluded that this man would be a great addition to their family and also a great husband for Donna. Without her knowing, everybody had given their approval to her parents.

 

The night went on and finally it was time for the bride to throw the bouquet. Donna didn’t want to participate in the silly tradition, but her mother couldn’t wait for her daughter to be in the front row. Donna was practically dragged onto the floor, her protests sweetly ignored. Her cousin was just about to throw the prize, when suddenly, everyone around Donna had just spread out… Like somehow they all agreed to let her catch it.

 

Well, not somehow… Her mother had threatened every single one of those girls with serious consequences. It was either let Donna win or suffer grave embarrassment at the hands of Roberta, and everyone knew that woman could be mean.

 

So, that was how Donna ended up with the beautiful wedding bouquet, half giddy with excitement, half expecting awkwardness from Harvey. After all, the whole room thought this meant she would be marrying him soon… She wouldn’t be surprised if people came to congratulate them, like they usually did with every girl who caught the bouquet.

 

“Well look at that honey, I think we’ll have to plan that wedding now…” A sigh of relief left her lips as Harvey was pretty chill about their current situation. She appreciated him easing her uncomfortableness by joking around.

 

“Harvey sweetheart, don’t you know by now that I already have it all planned out?” She teased because she knew there were people listening and that soon the news was about to outshine the bride and groom themselves.

 

“I wasn’t expecting any less…” Harvey said while giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

 

And apparently that was a mistake… When people saw him give her a little peck, they commented on how cute they were, but some smart pants cousin had also pointed out that it was the first time that evening that they had kissed.

 

“Oh, we don’t really like PDA…” Donna tried to make it less suspicious, but not everyone was buying it.

 

“I understand that kisses aren’t allowed at the office, but Donna this is family. Come on, give Harvey a good kiss! He deserved it alright…” Her mother had to mess this whole thing up, it just wasn’t possible to avoid her sticking her nose in other people’s business. Damn. And Donna really thought they were gonna pull this off.

 

“Honey it’s okay, your mom is right. We can give them a kiss, not to disappoint the crowd…” Harvey was subtly asking if it was okay, also reminding her they had to keep up appearances.

 

“Well, I guess…” She agreed, but reluctantly. The last time they had kissed it did no good for anyone, it almost broke their friendship altogether and that was the last thing either of them had wanted.

 

So she braced herself, waiting for him to take the lead on this one. Harvey quickly caught up to her thoughts and started to get closer. One, two, three steps and their bodies were pressed up against each other. She tried to keep herself from shuddering, but it wasn’t possible. Once Harvey felt it, he finally let himself go.

 

Although he started leaning in slowly, Harvey passed the last inch to her mouth so fast that Donna was startled by the sudden touch of his lips. They were just as sweet as she had remembered, but this time, even though they tasted just the same, it felt better to kiss him. Maybe it was because this time it was him who initiated it, maybe it was because she was certain he wanted it. No matter, this kiss they were sharing was enough for her to completely forget the last one.

 

Their lips moved together in perfect sync, both of them knew exactly what the other liked and didn’t like. Instead of making it more awkward, them being friends was just a plus when it came to their kisses. They were so comfortable with each other to move around and try different things with each other until it was _just right_. And oh God, how right that kiss was.

 

It lasted much longer than the crowd had expected and now everyone was cheering at them. The applause Harvey and Donna had gotten when they finally remembered to pull away was even bigger than the newlyweds had gotten during the ceremony. Not that Donna was surprised. Their family had never met any of her previous boyfriends, so it was something new to them - seeing her in love.

 

It was finally time that she admitted it to herself. She was in love with Harvey. Has been for so long now, that she doesn’t even remember the time she didn’t love him.

 

But to her, Harvey seemed like he wasn’t on the same page… Donna Paulsen was a woman rarely wrong about anything, especially men… But this time, she couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

 

Harvey had given everything of himself in that kiss. He tried to hold back, he really gave his best shot, but with Donna it was impossible. She unconsciously demanded all his attention and his focus and his thoughts and ultimately, all of his heart.

 

“I think we gave them a good show”, Donna finally found her voice again.

 

Harvey had to clear his throat before speaking again. It was hard to regain composure after that burst of emotions he just went through. He was surprised how quickly Donna had recovered and that made him question the probability of her feelings… If Donna wasn’t just as shaken as him after that, she must’ve been honest when she told him she felt nothing for him anymore.

 

And that’s when it hit him.

 

All the hurt that he felt when she said that came back in a flood. All the times he wished they were together, all the times she was with another man and he with another woman, everything that they’ve been through and every time something bad happened and he couldn’t hold her… All of that _pain_ went through him from his fingers to his toes.

 

Living without Donna wasn’t something that he chose. Once upon a time she didn’t want to be with him because she worked for him… But now their situation was different and there wasn’t anything standing in their way. So, Harvey had finally had that breakthrough.

 _Dr Lipschitz would’ve been so proud_ , Harvey thought. Hell, everyone at the firm would’ve been so proud of him for finally figuring his shit out. Especially Donna. Nobody in this world would’ve been as glad for him as her.

 

That’s how he knew what he needed to do. He didn’t fear rejection or failure anymore. He wasn’t scared of betrayal or abandonment. Harvey just knew he would regret it if he didn’t at least try.

 

So he kissed her again.

 

This time it was with even more passion, fixed determination to show her his feelings, not to hide them cowardly.

 

At first it took her by surprise, it was the most unexpected reaction coming from Harvey. But she couldn’t resist it much longer. At last she was free to act upon her feelings, because apparently they weren’t going to be ridiculed or unwanted. It was like a heavy weight was lifted from her heart and even though she was too busy kissing the man she loved, Donna felt like she could finally breathe.

 

“You didn’t have to do that…” Her words were hushed and she wasn’t able to steady her breathing.

 

“What do you mean?” Harvey seemed confused by her words, he himself in a kind of a daze.

 

“Harvey, nobody was looking.” Donna felt the need to point it out, waiting to hear his excuse for kissing her. She knew he noticed that everybody had gotten back to their own business.

 

“Yeah, so?” He had the audacity to smirk. Harvey was acting like what he had done was completely normal, even though for Donna it had been like the fucking technological revolution in her life.

 

“You’re really not even going to make up some lame explanation?” This was starting to become really funny to Donna, she was now practically fighting a snort.

 

“No. I’m kind of over wasting my time, since you’re going to see right through it anyway. I know my Donna.” He was honest and it felt good talking about it like that. Like letting himself feel for her wasn’t something awfully scary and new.

 

“I’ve trained you well.” She felt comfortable enough to joke about it, making him laugh too.

 

He leaned in again, but this time pressing his lips gently to her temple. It was short, but somehow it made Donna feel like the happiest woman on Earth. She was glowing of happiness and Harvey could feel it, to him she looked more beautiful than ever before.

 

So they were just standing there, in a corner of the dance floor. Completely oblivious to everything happening around them, just staring at each others eyes like they used to make fun of Mike and Rachel for doing.

 

It was funny really, how to those people in the room, what they saw seemed so real. But, maybe what others believed to be true wasn’t all a lie. Maybe one day, hopefully soon, Donna and Harvey would figure out it was real all along and they had fooled themselves this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading xx


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